


Before a Crush, He's a Friend

by shounism



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Attempt at Humor, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Mentioned Suna Rintarou, Mentioned Ushijima Wakatoshi, Mild Sexual Content, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:13:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28314360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shounism/pseuds/shounism
Summary: Miya Atsumu was asking for his company to the mall. Is this finally it? The end of his unrequited love, the final page of his yearning story? Will he finally get the luxury to flex at his high school best friends that he went on a date with his crush of a lifetime?“Sure! Of course! I’ll be glad to help,”“Ah, awesome! So, you see, I was planning to go ask my, ahem—crush, out on a date later on christmas eve! And your help will be very much needed.”Oh.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu
Comments: 22
Kudos: 218





	Before a Crush, He's a Friend

Hinata Shouyou was twenty-two and four month years old when he realizes that he’s been very much in love with his own best friend.

The sudden realization was nothing similar of those wonderful scene he had saw on those telenovelas, no cherry blossom petals falling sweetly whenever he saw his crush; nothing of sort—it was quite uncomplicated and straightforward, even. A simple _oh_ , the kind of recognition you got when you failed a test you didn’t even aware it was there.

To say the least, it was expected.

People will always say how Hinata Shouyou was the embodiment of the sun itself, abright and dazzling with a heartbeat. For Shouyou himself, it was such a pity that some people may have never gotten the opportunity to meet Miya Atsumu—who, to Shouyou, deserves the title ‘sunshine’ himself.

Miya Atsumu, just one from many of his upperclassmen in college. A good friend of Suna Rintarou who introduces the two of them together, getting closer for a year before finally agreeing to move in together.

A lazy “ _mornin’, Shou_ ” and an offer for a cup of coffee can send his body tingling, a quiet “ _wanna jog together_?” makes him blush, a soft “ _have a good night._ ” makes him go through a very good sleep with a fluffy dream where he and Atsumu would hold hands and kiss each other’s cheeks.

Unfortunately, Shouyou had a hunch—more like an undeniable proof that he should get rid of his ridiculous feelings for his roommate, wrap it in folds then toss it to the deep depth of an ocean until it finally perishes on its own.

It was one day before christmas eve, the 23rd of December.

“Shouyou-kun, are you free today?” A question thrown at him that made Shouyou’s face light up like a christmas tree. A fast as lightning nod came only a second after. Atsumu claps his hands together, smiling wide.

“Good! Could you perhaps accompany me to the mall? I need stuff to buy and I might need your opinion about it.”

Hundreds of fireworks were suddenly blaring on the back of Shouyou’s head. The acknowledgement of having feelings for Atsumu was easy, but everything after that is nothing near easy. Ever since he admits to himself about his little crush, it gets a little harder to react normally to whatever Atsumu was doing.

And now that Atsumu asks him to go to the mall together... Is this finally it? The end of his unrequited love, the final page of his yearning story? Will he finally get the luxury to flex at his high school best friends that he went on a date with his crush of a lifetime?

“Sure! Of course! I’ll be glad to help,” he manages to answer without sounding weird (or at least he thought so).

“Ah, awesome! So, you see, I was planning to go ask my, _ahem_ —crush, out on a date later on christmas eve! And your help will be very much needed.”

Oh.

All the joy and happiness immediately fell from Shouyou’s face, replaced by heavy clouds that threatens to pour down.

Atsumu is going to ask someone out on a _date_. On christmas night.

“Oh,” Shouyou answers, light on tone but heavy in feeling, as he looks away from Atsumu’s still so delightful gaze. He very much wanted to run away from this awkward conversation, but Atsumu is still his friend despite his feeling, so he should at least _pretend_ to be happy and unfazed about it.

“I see! I’ll make sure that your date will love your looks!” Shouyou gave two thumbs up, trying his best to look happy for his—friend. Atsumu, who was firstly confused with the lack of reaction, finally lets out a little chuckle, standing up.

“Well, shall we go later tonight?”

“Sure, Atsumu-san!”

—

**Omi-san** : _you’re being stupid u know that right_

 **Me** : _Omi-san! mean! im just helping a friend here_

 **Omi-san** : _yeah by hurting yourself_

 **Me** : _gasp!!! The audacity!!! im coming to your house_

 **Omi-san** : _no_

 **Me** : _i need to cope!!! i'm arriving in ten_

 **Omi-san** : _no_

 **Omi-san** : _nevermind_

“Oh? Going somewhere?” Atsumu lifts up his head, staring at Shouyou who’s all ready with his mocha-colored cardigan and jogger pants. Shouyou gave him a quick nod as a reply.

“Yeah, I’m having lunch with Omi-san. Um, are you gonna be here alone until later at night?”

Atsumu waves his hand, nonchalant. “Nah, I’ll go to Rintarou’s. Hanging out with some of my friends there. Want me to pick you up at Omi-kun’s for later?”

“I’ll probably be coming back here first to take another bath and get changed, so maybe we’ll just go together from here?” came a reply from Shouyou as he ties his shoe, Atsumu trailing behind him.

“’Kay. Make sure to be home around six?”

_Home._ The term home to be said as theirs sounds so awfully warm and soft coming from Atsumu. Shouyou smiled at that, eyes gazing at Atsumu’s standing figure.

It was quite a sad story of how Shouyou’s home is always Atsumu, but Atsumu finds home in another.

Another person who he would be asking out later on. Enjoying a romantic christmas night together, hands intertwined, walking around the busy snowy street as the blazing lights that was dominated with red and green illuminate their elated and very much in love faces.

Before Shouyou’s mind threatens to supply more scenario that’d probably going to break him, he stood up so abruptly that Atsumu had to step back a little, surprised.

“I’ll be going, then, Atsumu-san!”

—

Sakusa Kiyoomi was never really the type to let someone even step inside his apartment room, but of course Shouyou (and also Komori and his _Wakatoshi-kun_ ) was an exception; a fact he vowed to never let it out loud (but the three knows anyways).

Which is why, when a certain redhead shows up with a sad puppy eyes (Kiyoomi is always weak to dogs, okay) and a plastic of food from his favorite go-to resto, he only lets a deep sigh and steps aside for Shouyou to walk in.

“Omi-san, do you think I’m ugly?” asks Shouyou, all so sudden while keeping his eyes on the television. Kiyoomi knows his mind was not where his eyes are, though.

“Go ask that to the sad and brokenhearted college people who stares at you with love in their eyes,” Kiyoomi rolls his eyes as he recalls two or three times where he had been suddenly confronted of being Shouyou’s boyfriend. And two or three other times where people sent _him_ a love letter to give to Shouyou.

“But I only want hiiiiiimmmmmmmmm.” Shouyou slumped deeper to the sofa, hugging tight Kiyoomi’s pillow. “Why doesn’t he want me back? Why is he going to ask someone else to go out with him, not meee.”

“What, maybe _you’re_ the one he’s going to ask on a date later on.” Kiyoomi states, so simple as if it was nothing. “That’s not impossible.”

Kiyoomi had to surpress a laughter due to seeing Shouyou’s fabblegastered state, blush starting to creep on his whole face as he gapes at Kiyoomi, wide. A meek shout follows, “T-that _is_ impossible, okay! Why would he even do that! Omi-san, you’re a great friend but giving me false hope is not endearing.”

“I... okay. You know what? From what I see, you and Miya are basically glued to each other.” Kiyoomi sighed, his right hand rubbing his temple. “People called you the international relation major’s couple. God, you go almost everywhere together. And you’re roommates. Both you and Miya are a social butterfly, you have many friends and I bet also party invitation swings by both of your phone often, yet here you are, both single, enjoying domestic boba dates or morning runs together. I think Miya’s as a goner as you are.”

“My, Omi-san, stop lying,” Shouyou clicked his tongue, tossing himself to lay on Kiyoomi’s sofa. “Look, I need to _pretend_ to be happy and supportive, right? I probably should.”

“’Course,” Kiyoomi nods halfheartedly. “And while you’re at it, you might wanna start searching for a new apartment in case you can’t handle him bringing his partner home most of the time.”

As he was only greeted with silence, the uneasiness forced Kiyoomi to lift up his head and to be greeted by Shouyou’s face full of tears threatening to fall, only Kiyoomi gasps, rushing up on his side.

“Godness, I was kidding,” he shakes Shouyou’s body, the latter only whines as he hides his face with a pillow, avoiding Kiyoomi’s direct view. “Oi. Okay, sorry. That joke was awful. I mean maybe he’d fuck up his date night later or he realized that you’re better than his date. There’s many what-ifs, you know.”

Shouyou finally sniffs, peeking from the pillow as he glares at Kiyoomi. He then sighed to himself. “That was also an awful attempt of consolation.”

“An attempt is made, at the very least.” Kiyoomi huffs. “...Wanna watch Inside Out?”

Shouyou pouts, but nods, a sign of comply. Kiyoomi smiles. They’re okay, for now.

—

Atsumu appears at their front apartment door at only after five minutes past six, all wrapped in his dark grey coat, matching with his blue scarf—as always, in Shouyou’s eyes, Atsumu looks beautiful, and him standing there, waiting for Shouyou to get ready, Shouyou thought that he maybe can daydream that this _really_ is a date for a bit.

“Ready to go?”

_On a date with you, yeah, very much,_ Shouyou thought to himself, but gulps it down, then swiftly nods. He is going out with Atsumu as a friend, carrying a mission that a good friend should do: help each other in need.

Not even small talks nor Atsumu’s musky car smell and the tune of his favorite songs can make him feel a lot better—he was going to help Atsumu to look perfect on his date with someone else, for god’s sake.

At times like this, Shouyou remembers his conversation with Kiyoomi and sighs. ‘ _See? Told you, you’re stupid.’_ He felt a sudden rush of goosebumps for a reason that he can absolutely picture Kiyoomi saying that.

The mall was kind of packed, a situation to no one’s surprise since christmas is coming. Shouyou walks beside Atsumu, not too far but not too close to bump on each other (it is for his own good).

Their first stop is a clothing brand store that Shouyou had noticed, is Atsumu’s favorite one, judging from the way he owns so much outfit from this brand. Yes, he discovered this because he’s in charge of the laundry and boy did that platonically domestic activity doesn’t make him warm.

Platonically. No romance included.

“What do you think about this one?” Atsumu asks, cutting off Shouyou’s train of thoughts. Shouyou’s eyes drove back to the long, dark brown coat— _that_ , Shouyou talks to himself, _is just the same as another two coat he has back at home_.

“Atsumu-san, you have already had enough brown coat. And that model was so, uh, no offense, outdated.” Shouyou reached the coat on Atsumu’s hands, the one he mocks that might have cost a lot more than his daily meal. An awful lot.

_Damn Miya Atsumu and all his wealth. Damn him, too, for going out on a date tomorrow night with someone else._

Shouyou picks another coat after strolling here and there for some minute—a dark blue trench coat that has the perfect length for Atsumu’s build, falling right on his thighs. _Now this will look crazy good on him._

“Try this one,” Shouyou orders. Atsumu gladly complies, giving him a quick wink before disappearing to the fitting room.

There are too many words Shouyou would be glad to steal from the dictionary to describe how Atsumu look when he stepped outside the fitting rooom— _gorgeus, alluring, fascinating_ —but if he had to only choose one; it was _perfect_.

Shouyou’s breath hitched just a little as Atsumu walks closer to him, and it was a full stop when he’s only a step away, crouching down. Raising his eyebrows, ‘ _How do I look?’_ A silent question. Shouyou gulps. This bastard and his antique to fish for compliment.

“You look good,” Shouyou nods, patting on Atsumu’s shoulder. Out of nowhere, Atsumu grabs his hands, gave it a light squeeze. His smile, though, sent a squeeze to Shouyou’s heart.

“You like it?”

Another slow nod came accross Shouyou’s head. He mirrors Atsumu’s act, squeezing his hands back. “Yeah,” he whispers. “I do.”

Shouyou lets out a good breath when Atsumu finally breaks down whatever tension he built; in the middle of a clothing shop! Right in front of some waitress, and people are passing by!

It was maybe just an illusion from someone who’s in love—which would be more likely to connect almost whatever their crush is doing to a _maybe he likes me back_. Yeah, it would be like that. Blame Shouyou and his desperate little cliche crush about that.

**Me** : _Omi-san I think I’m going crazy_

 **Omi-san** : _You’re downright crazy by the second you said yes to accompany him there_

 **Me** : _i am going to kick you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

 **Omi-san** : _that’s very adorable_

 **Me** : .

“Where to go now, Atsumu-san?”

“I’m thinking of buying a new perfume.” Atsumu pursed his lip. “D’you think my date will appreciate it if I’m more, you know, sweet-smelling? Or something like that?”

The consideration in Atsumu’s tone did quite a good punch on Shouyou’s stomach. He’s thinking to even change his _scent_ for a date night? Just how amazing and special of a person, this crush of him is?

“Shouyou-kun?”

Shouyou must have spaced out—again, because Atsumu was calling for him and suddenly warm fingers interlaced with him, pulling him forward. A sudden rush of blood make its way to Shouyou’s face at the strong grip on his hands. He bumped lightly to a few people here and there before finally returns by Atsumu’s side.

“Coulda get lost there,” Atsumu whispers, gentle and worried look shown on his face, and Shouyou honest to god blushed ten thousand times harder.

It was such a simple act of kindness. Atsumu was just being kind as always (An always-kind Atsumu was something that people would be hard to believe, but Shouyou never had once encountered Atsumu being a prick to him except just maybe throwing silly jokes here and there) but then again, Atsumu can give him one lazy smile and he’ll melt.

“Don’t let go,” came another whisper.

Shouyou nods reluctantly, holding Atsumu’s hands tighter.

He snuck a glance at Atsumu, soft breath leaving his parted lips. _I hope I can have the power to never let go, though, Atsumu-san._

—

A goddamned perfumery.

Shouyou once again questions to himself of how important this person to Atsumu is. He even went to buy a new perfume? He still had that one particular soft vanilla-like perfume Shouyou grew to love so much.

Whoever it is, Atsumu’s goal is totally to impress them. Wow, maybe he’s like, dead serious about this one crush.

“Shouyou-kun, what kind of perfume would you prefer? The musky or sweet ones?” asked Atsumu, (questionably) leaning down to Shouyou. The redhead, the churn in his stomach that made him queasy because of jealousy, took a deep breath to get a grip of himself.

“The sweet scent suits you,” he blurts out, too much honesty in one sentence that he himself was caught by surprise, immediately closes his mouth shut.

Atsumu’s reaction was nothing too different from Shouyou’s, but he sure recovers a lot faster. A playful smirk plays on his face as he chuckles and says, “So, I’m sweet.”

“Perhaps, a little bit.” Shouyou huffs, looking away.

Atsumu ends up buying another vanilla scent that Shouyou chose for him – this one stronger, but not too sweet, just the right amount.

“You like this one?” he for the second time asks, and Shouyou nods in agreement.

They walked hand in hand again, and sometimes it amazes Shouyou how Atsumu wasn’t even scared or having uneasy feeling that they’ll meet someone from their college here – wouldn’t that be bad for Atsumu’s reputation in the future if they saw the two of them holding hands?

“Uh, Atsumu-san, there’s a new crepe shop on the second floor. Shall we try?” he released Atsumu’s grip a little forcefully. Atsumu might have realized that too, but he speaks nothing. He only replies with a “sure”, nodding his head.

Speak of the devil.

As they walked towards the place—which was crowded, there, stands two of their college friends, waving towards Atsumu and Shouyou cheerfully.

Oikawa Tooru and Kuroo Tetsurou. Atsumu rolls his eyes, clearly a displeased look on his face. The last thing he wanted is to stumble upon two of their most troublesome and talkative upperclassmen. Shouyou, on the other hand, judging by the way his eyes shine, gave the two a wider smile, running towards them.

“Oho? Going on a date, I assume,” there goes Tetsurou’s usual teasing tone, his eyebrows wiggles annoyingly; mostly directed at Atsumu, because towards Shouyou, everyone is nothing but an angel.

“Chibi-chan, you can totally do better than Mister Piss-Hair!” Tooru exclaims dramatically, squishing Shouyou’s cheeks. Shouyou, a literal angel, just accepts it with giggles. Atsumu scoffs. Tooru clearly doesn’t deserve to receive such cute reaction from Shouyou.

“It’s... it’s not a date,” Shouyou felt the need to explain, detaching Tooru’s hand from his cheeks. “I’m accompanying Atsumu-san to buy things.”

“Things, as in a new trendy coat and a perfume,” Tetsurou remarks, eyes glancing at Atsumu’s paper bag. “You going on a date later?”

“Yeah, been plannin’ to ask someone out on christmas night later.”

“A christmas eve date, how classic and boring, Miya-chan,” Tooru coos.

As they continue to bicker, Shouyou was left alone deep in thought. Reminded once again that tomorrow night, it’s not him who’s going to go on a date with Atsumu. Tomorrow night, Atsumu will go out again, but it’s no more with Shouyou. And after tomorrow night, he might as well start to consider moving out, finding a new place to live so he wouldn’t be a bother to see Atsumu and his new lover.

Shouyou sighed. At least on this heartbreaking ‘hang-out’, there are two good things; Tooru-Tetsu duo, and chocolate ice cream crepe.

And Atsumu holding his hand.

Shouyou shoves those thoughts away immediately, not realizing that he, for the second time, has been spacing out, because he suddenly felt Tooru’s hands on his shoulder, and the next thing he knows is that Tetsurou and Atsumu are gone.

“Eh? Where’s Kuroo-san and Atsumu-san?” he asks, but follows Tooru to sit down on one of the chairs anyways.

“They went to buy, I don’t know. What was that again? A car freshener, yup yup.”

Shouyou slumped in his seat, the crepe suddenly feels a little sad on his hand. He even bought a new car freshener. He’ll totally go to pick up his date and drive them home. Or maybe if it went well, Atsumu wouldn’t even come home at all.

“Oh,” he answers, mind still driving off somewhere else.

Tooru, on the other hand, snorts. Shouyou eyed him confusedly; ‘ _what’s so funny about an oh?’_ Then Tooru only continues to smile suspiciously.

A sudden realization hits him; _does he know? About Shouyou’s feelings?_

“You’re so easy to read, Shou-chan,” Tooru chuckles, hands supporting his chin. “Must have hurt you badly that he took you out only to ask your opinion about his christmas eve date-needs.”

Shouyou looks away, silently munching on his crepe. “I can do nothing now. He’s still a friend before he’s my... object of affection... so might as well help.”

Tooru laughed. “A goody-goody as always, are you not,” he says. Shouyou huffs.

“But don’t you find it weird though? I mean he literally bought whatever you chose for him. Ain’t that suspicious?”

Shouyou’s head tilts. “Why is that even suspicious? He’s basically asking for my opinion and went with it. I guess he just thought that my taste will suit his date the most.”

Tooru’s expression was hard to read upon hearing Shouyou’s remark. But he says nothing, only changing their conversation to another topic.

Atsumu returns with Tetsurou some minute later after Tooru and Shouyou went to a steady conversation about their major and holiday plans. Shouyou stood up, walking to Atsumu.

“You bought a new freshener?” Shouyou asks, his cheeks still munching the last remaining piece of his crepe.

“Yeah, remember when you say you like Hajime-san’s car smell? That sea breeze one? I bought that one.”

Shouyou raised his eyebrow. Glancing at Tooru. The latter gave him a loopsided grin, as if he’s saying ‘ _see, I wasn’t wrong_.’ Shouyou wanted so bad to ask ‘ _why are you considering about what I like, though?’_ but he shrugs the thought away, nodding.

Atsumu, then, eyes him intently. Sniffles a light chuckle. Shouyou’s brows furrows, puzzled by the sudden laughter. He then crouched down, matching Shouyou’s height, as he, god, softly wipes off the chocolate ice cream from Shouyou’s side lip with his thumb.

“Ya eat like a little child. Cute.”

Shouyou was really going to burst. Explode. Whatever it is to explain the way he’s really going to go crazy at the way Atsumu always caught him off-guard, pulling the craziest stunt that made his heart do backflips. Shouyou badly wants to scream. _What the fuck! Don’t do that to me, you ass!_ but on the other side, he yearns for Atsumu’s hands on his skin again.

Tooru groans, “Get the fuck out of my eyesight if both of you are still going to be all sappy and shit in front of me.”

“Oh we’re leaving alright,” Atsumu huffs, then took the edge of Shouyou’s coat, tugging him closer.

“See ya around, I guess. And Kuroo-kun, thanks for accompanying me. I knew you’re a lot better than Tooru.”

“Excuse me!”

“Haha, good luck on your _date,_ Atsumu,” Tetsurou emphasizes on the word date while glancing at Shouyou. Shouyou noticed, but as always, he shrugs it away.

“Ready to visit the last destination for tonight?”

_The last destination for tonight, yes, but your date tomorrow night? Never,_ Shouyou thought to himself. But nods happily anyway. Cheerfully chanting a ‘let’s go!’

—

Shouyou was really, really going to combust.

A flower shop! Atsumu took him to a flower shop. To bring for his date, a romantic gesture of giving a bouquet full of flowers. The thought, once again, made his whole mood went down once again.

_Before a crush, he’s a friend,_ Shouyou keeps chanting to himself. Trying with all his will that it’s going to be okay. Proceeds to walk inside the store with Atsumu.

“What kind of flower do you like the most, Shouyou-kun?” asks Atsumu. Shouyou, baffled, asked him back, “Isn’t this for your date? Do you not know about what would perhaps be their favorite?”

Atsumu stills, contemplating. Then he answers, “I don’t know much about their preference on flowers and stuff,”

Shouyou nods. “What kind of person are they?”

Atsumu stares at the ceiling, a fond expression on his face, along with a soft and genuine smile – Shouyou’s chest clenches in both fondness and hurt. Atsumu looks so happy it hurts. The fact that those expression came from a certain someone he’s currently thinking of makes the hurt tripled.

“They’re unbelievably kind.”

“Had a really beautiful smile.”

“Very adorable. Cute. Sweet. And pretty.”

“Soft skin. Cute little lips. Tiny eyebrows.”

Shouyou tries his best to stay calm as Atsumu kept on listing whatever unhelpful but hurts all the same facts. At least Shouyou understood how this person is a bright one, full of joy and excitement.

“Your date would love to have sunflowers, I think. Or bright and soft colors. White. Such as these peonies. Or daisies.”

“You think so?” Atsumu pursed his lip, staring at the sunflowers in front of them.

“Yeah, you should probably pick within those three,”

Atsumu crouched down to have a better view of the flowers, pressing his lips to a thin line. He then asks Shouyou, “Which would you like the best?”

Shouyou blinks; once, twice. But he’s already too drained and tired to think too much and stay quiet and still, so he gave a quick reply, “I’d probably prefer these sunflowers, but I don’t think your date would love too many-“

“Sunflowers it is,” Atsumu gave a quick wink before walking away to the cashier, leaving Shouyou stunned and, as always, puzzled.

“What the hell,” he thought. Atsumu was being weird. Atsumu was constantly buying whatever Shouyou would choose for him, whatever Shouyou prefers, whatever Shouyou points at him; that would be what he bought.

—

Traffic jam was awful that night. They finally went home after their last resort; the flowers. Shouyou taps his hand to the melody of whatever christmas song that was playing on the radio. At least his off-beat tapping saved him from doing absolutely nothing beside Atsumu, who’s lost in his own thought.

_He must have felt nervous about tomorrow,_ another sad thought leaves Shouyou’s mind. He clenches his fist. He couldn’t be like this! Before a crush, he’s a friend. He chants to himself.

So, for the sake of friendship, Shouyou took the hard way.

“Are you perhaps nervous about tomorrow?” he asked.

Atsumu glances at him; looking so pretty illuminated by the city lights. Shouyou didn’t even realize he was staring without breathing until he heard a soft chuckle from the older.

“’Course I am. I mean, I like this person so much and the last thing I want is for them to reject me.”

Ouch.

Shouyou bit his lip. _Stop asking,_ he screams to himself in silence. _All you’ll get in return is a heartbreak._ “You’ll do fine,” he assures him, but the uncertainty in his voice didn’t go unnoticed.

He’s uncertain that he was genuinely rooting for Atsumu’s success.

Heck, he didn’t even want this date to happen.

“I hope so, too.” a little tap on a steering wheel as he hums to the song currently playing, the tense on his shoulder finally gone. “I really, _really_ , really like them.”

_Don’t,_ his mind warns, but he never complies. He sometimes thought that he’s a masochist, perhaps. He tends to want to know whatever will break his heart later on. So, he asks. Again.

“Are they someone I know?”

Atsumu’s fond and soft expression plays once again. A light nod. “You know them very well.”

Shouyou’s hand grips harder. A close friend of his? Are they in the same group of friends? Then if his date succeeds, will they go to their hang out together as a couple, and Shouyou would have to always see them being a lovey-dovey couple?

The thought irks Shouyou so much. Why can’t it be him? What did he even lack? Why are feelings so complicated? He knows that no one can control their feelings, and so Atsumu is free to love whoever he wants, as much as Shouyou does, too.

“I’m so dead serious about them,” Atsumu speaks again. “Like, this is the first time I like someone so much. I feel like bursting about asking them out tomorrow.”

Shouyou’s nails dug deeper into his palm. “They must be lucky,”

Atsumu smiles, a wide, dumb grin playing on his face. This man is _whipped._

“Nah, I’m the one who’s lucky here. I got a chance to meet them and get close to them.”

“I see,” Shouyou replies weakly. Looking away through the window.

Shouyou felt horrible; he should have been a perfect friend, giving Atsumu every moral support and motivation he needs, assuring him that he’ll do just fine.

But, maybe not now. Maybe later. Tonight, Shouyou can’t take it. Tonight, let him drown in his miserable realization of unrequited love, cry away, be sad, so sad that he’ll be so bored from being sad in the future.

So, Shouyou finally acknowledges the ugly jealousy part of his feeling—he doesn’t like the idea of Atsumu who soon will be dating someone. He wants it to be him. It hurts to know he’s not the one Atsumu will spend his christmas eve with. It hurts. Tonight, let Shouyou be sad about this, let Shouyou be mad about him not getting chosen. Let him.

Then, maybe later, be it two days, two weeks, two months or maybe even two years, he’ll learn to let go. He’ll finally get to be in peace with the fact that he’s not the one Atsumu wants. Then maybe when that day has come, he’ll laugh reminiscing about today and how ridiculous it is, he’ll congratulate Atsumu and his lover for being in a long, steady relationship, he’ll be the one to comfort Atsumu and help him fix his relationship problems without being jealous and sad about it. He will, but not today.

Today, let him feel his heartbreak.

They fell to the rest of their journey home in silence, getting ready for bed without words as well. Shouyou notices Atsumu’s troubled glance on him, but he says nothing, blatantly ignoring the heavy gaze on his back.

Atsumu mayhaps couldn’t take it anymore because he finally breaks the silence by asking him, “Is everything alright? Am I... uh. did I do something wrong?”

_Me liking you is, perhaps, wrong,_ Shouyou says to himself. Still having his rational mind switched on, instead he says, “Yeah,” Shouyou answers, voice hoarse. “Of course... why are you asking?”

  
“It’s just... you’re quiet.”

  
Shouyou smiles, giving a soft sigh. “I’m okay, Atsumu. I’m just tired. So I’m heading to bed now.”

  
“Okay,” Atsumu answers, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. “Okay, then. Have a good sleep.”  
  
Shouyou gave a weak smile. Nodding. “You too, Atsumu-san. Wouldn’t want to have a tired face by tomorrow’s date night.

  
—  
  
Shouyou was staring on his ceiling, phone in his hand. _Atsumu is probably picking up his date by now,_ he thought. Sighing hard. The evil of his mind couldn’t stop feeding him the images of the kind of date Atsumu and his partner will go to later on.

Since that night after crying so hard, feeling utterly tired, Shouyou woke up at three in the afternoon. Atsumu says nothing about that, giving him any free space he very much needed at the moment. He was forever thankful that Atsumu still understands him with the back of his head.

He spent his days locked in the guest room, only exchanging words with Atsumu once or twice, like on breakfast or lunch. Right now, though, trying to shove his mind away from the image of Atsumu being all sappy and romantic later on, he decided to call Kiyoomi. He picks up at the second ring.

“ _Why are you calling me_?”

  
Shouyou chuckles—at least, hearing Kiyoomi’s voice could lighten up his mood just a little bit. He coos, “Omi-san, aren’t you excited upon hearing my voice?!”

  
Kiyoomi sighed. They fell to a comfortable and easy conversation for quite awhile, at least until Shouyou hears the bathroom door unlocking.

  
Shouyou looks at the time. Six in the evening. Atsumu must have been getting ready for his date night.

  
“ _You’re spacing out,_ ” Kiyoomi points out like it wasn’t the most obvious thing in the world. “ _And that is because a certain someone is going out on a date_.”

  
“Shut up, you,” Shouyou huffs, crawling back on his bed, burying his body with his grey blanket. He wanted to just disappear.

  
“ _He’s about to go now?_ ”

  
“Mhm,” Shouyou replies softly. The images of Atsumu being all happy and romantic playsa“Mhm,” Shouyou replies softly. The images of Atsumu being all happy and romantic plays repeatedly on the back of his mind. He desperately tries to push the thoughts away.

Shouyou was still busy drowning in his sadness when he heard a light knock on his room.

“Shouyou? It’s Atsumu, uh. I wanna talk.”

The oh-so familiar voice from the other side of the room made Shouyou jumped up and fell from his bed, his heart beating like crazy. Why is Atsumu here? Weren’t he supposed to go fetch his date?

“Can I come inside?”

Shouyou groans—he was definitely not ready to see Atsumu. Not now. Not when he was about to go on a date with another person. But he says yes anyways.

“Hang on, Omi-san.”

Opening his room, Shouyou was greeted with a very pleasing vanilla scent and _goddamn_ , Miya Atsumu was awfully gorgeous. Hinata Shouyou is going to cry again. He combs his hair to the back, showing off his forehead more. He also wore the coat Shouyou chose for him, and even brought—the sunflowers?

Shouyou sat up from his bed, brows furrowing. Giving Atsumu a puzzled look. “What are you doing here?”

Atsumu stares back in equal confusement.

“To ask my crush out on a date night?” an answer, but more like a question.

“Yeah, but why-“

Oh.

Atsumu approaches him in silent, sitting on the edge of the bed. He then gave the sunflower bouquet in his hands to Shouyou. The latter wordlessly took it from Atsumu’s hand, still processing everything.

“So—you’re—you’re asking me...?” he stares at Atsumu with wonders, eyes glossy with tears as he said so.

So the one Atsumu says he was _dead serious_ about—the one he really, really like – the one that has the power to make Atsumu smile genuinely and all goofy with cute pink blush on his cheeks-

All the time, it was Shouyou himself?

“Yes,” Atsumu took one of Shouyou’s hands in his. “It’s you. That’s why I’m kind of scared of why you seem to be so down yesterday. You didn’t even want to go home with me.”

“That’s—that’s because—how would I even assume that you’re going to ask me out when you yourself was asking _my opinion_ on this—I mean what kind of person asks the opinion of their own crush— that— that’s cheating!” Shouyou was on full—mode blush by now, flapping his hands, all jittery and confused.

“I’m—I’m sorry, I mean, Rintarou-kun said that it might be a good idea since I don’t want it to be so common and classic!” Atsumu mirrors Shouyou’s panic, gripping his hands. “I thought you’d get the hint!”

“What hint?!” Shouyou snaps back, “We’re basically attached on each other’s hip most of the time, being all touchy feely to each other and I thought that you’re like that to me only because you’re... like that!”

“I thought the same as well! I... always assume that you’re just the type of sweet person, you always said yes to hanging out with me, and—and I thought you’re just kind by default and all that I’m starting to feel the need to give up, but my friends says I should probably give it a shot because-“

Shouyou stares at Atsumu with such wonder and happiness in his eyes; he’s practically vibrating now, his breath hitching as he grips harder on Atsumu’s hand.

“You like me,” Shouyou whispers. “Atsumu-san likes me back.”

“Yeah, I like you-“ Atsumu paused before lifting his head up again to see Shouyou’s face as he gasps when the fact sinks in; “You like me too!”

“I thought it was obvious!”

“No, you’re an angel to everyone! How can I know that I’m the one you like as well?!” Atsumu exclaims. Shouyou took a deep breath, sighing. This conversation is going nowhere, and all these misunderstanding is just awfully dumb and embarassing.

“So I spent last night crying for nothing, getting in such bad mood for nothing,” Shouyou laugh to himself, but apparently, it was nothing near funny for Atsumu. His expression was horrified at Shouyou’s words.

“Oh my god, Shouyou, you cried, I’m so sorry, this is horrible and I’m going to kill Rin-kun for this idea, I’m sorry I made you cry-“

Shouyou felt his chest swell with a sudden rush of warm affection as he saw how worried Atsumu looked. It was awfully _adorable and heartwarning._

As Atsumu’s ramble goes on and on, Shouyou quickly pulls him closer, shutting him up with a light peck on his lips.

It was wrong to say that Atsumu will shut up, though. He _splutters_ , trying to grasp something to say, but to no avail. So he only pulls Shouyou closer, hugging him close, burying himself in the crook of Shouyou’s neck. He looks up to Shouyou as Shouyou gave him the sweetest of smile, meeting him halfway, tenderly kisses Atsumu’s lips again—this time, a little bit longer, twice, then the third time.

“ _...Are you guys done? Or do I really have to listen to both of you sucking each other’s face a little longer?”_

Shouyou immediately pulls out as Atsumu shamelessly chases him for another kiss. Shouyou crouched down in embarassment, reaching out to pick his phone that his dumb self forgot to end the phone call he’s currently in.

“Omi-san! I’m... so sorry... I...”

“ _Both of you are fucking stupid_ ,”

“Shut up, Omi-omi,” Atsumu mocks, then purposefully kept on kissing Shouyou’s cheek to his chin hard so it made sounds that made Kiyoomi got angrier.

“Gross. I’m hanging up. Merry christmas, you two dumb fucks.”

Shouyou and Atsumu exchanged looks before they broke up in laughter, feeling literally dumb for all these misunderstandings when it could be so easy and simple. But maybe it’s just that they were never a simple person to begin with—always so out of the box, loud, and oblivious towards their own feelings. This was bound to happen if people were to talk about Atsumu and Shouyou’s feelings.

As their laughter dies down, Shouyou circles his hand on Atsumu’s neck, bringing him closer. Atsumu gladly complies, moving closer to the point that there’s no more gap between them. Shouyou kisses Atsumu softly, nothing more than just a long peck, and Atsumu was never a man with much patience, so he gives Shouyou’s bottom lip a light lick, making Shouyou pull away, jolting in surprise.

“Atsumu-san,” he says, breathless, both lips and cheek turning red. The way his chest heaves up and down, Atsumu doesn’t quite understand why, but it got him more riled up. Shouyou was quick enough for pushing Atsumu before he could devour him once again.

“Atsumu-san, aren’t the purpose is—asking me out on a date?”

Atsumu pouts, but sits up properly, his weight no longer on top of Shouyou’s. Shouyou’s face reddened when he realized that they kissed for so long that he didn’t even remember when he was getting pushed to lay down.

Atsumu was too dangerous sometimes.

“We can go later,” Atsumu whispers, plopping himself down again, nuzzling on Shouyou’s neck.

_He’s like a big baby bear,_ Shouyou thought to himself, pulling Atsumu closer for a hug.

“But you’ve already dressed and prepared so well,” Shouyou pats the crinkle on Atsumu’s coat. “We can do this anytime, but christmas isn’t gonna be around all year, isn’t it?”

Atsumu huffs, then sat up again for the second time. “Okay, go get ready then. But you gotta promise me one thing, though.”

Shouyou’s brow raised, interested at the ‘promise’ word Atsumu chanted. “And that is?”

Atsumu, damn his pretty and alluring face, leans closer, dangerously close to Shouyou’s ears that he felt his hot breath there, making him shudder excitedly.

“After this whole date, we’ll have a good amount of alone time. You and me, here.”

Shouyou’s mind short-circuited immediately—Atsumu knows damn well about his effect on Shouyou, and look what he’s doing now!? Taking advantage of it? Well, if that’s the case, Shouyou was a competitive human after all, so he leans back,

“We’ll see who lasts longer later, Atsumu-san. You do know they call me a stamina monster, do you not?”

As they went on a minute full of wholesome laughter and love, Shouyou beams happily at Atsumu. His upperclassmen, his roommate. Before a crush, he was a friend. Now, he can proudly tell the world that Atsumu is no longer a crush—Atsumu is, from now on, a lover.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading all the way through here! It's been quite awhile since I posted fics here. I enjoyed writing these two cuties quite a lot (actually, so much...!!! pls love atsuhina...!!!) I hope you enjoy this fic! Thank you!<3


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